I’m interested in working CBD into our sex life—yea or nay?
That’s a big yea from me. CBD (that’s cannabidiol, the nonpsychoactive component of cannabis and hemp) is being experimented with as a way to help reduce anxiety, increase sensation, improve desire, and alleviate pain. (Keep in mind, though: The legality of CBD can vary from state to state, and most of the reported benefits are anecdotal.) Essentially, it’s another way to relax and let you get and stay in the mood.
You could smoke it—it won’t be the same as actual stoned sex, but it’ll definitely be chill sex. If you want to eat it, that will work too, but it’ll take longer to have an effect, up to 45 minutes. The easiest way to play? CBD lube. I like Ignite from Kush Queen. It’s water based, and although you may not notice the CBD effects immediately, it certainly gets the job done.
My newish girlfriend posts a lot of revealing selfies. Now that we’re serious, it’s a little weird. Can I say something?
Not really. We’re all out here building our own brands via social media. (And some of those brands are about selfies in bikinis.) You should absolutely tell her that you are feeling different about her feed now that you’re exclusive, but you can’t ask her to change it. If she’s proud of her photo shoots and you can’t see it from her perspective, it’s just going to drive you crazy and drive the two of you apart.
My girlfriend has really quiet orgasms. Does that mean she’s faking them?
Probably the opposite. All those super-loud moany orgasms from porn? They’re not truly representative of real-life climaxes. Shocking, I know. Sometimes we’re loud, but sometimes we’re focused and quiet. Don’t let her sound level fool you. If she’s clenching and verbally lets you know it’s working, you can rest assured. If you suspect she’s faking it, take a few sessions to focus just on her orgasm (i.e., not yours). Ask how she likes to get off. Then take her there.
We’ve been serious for four months. Can I fart comfortably in front of them yet?
If you have to ask this question, it’s probably not as serious as you think. They’re not going to break up with you because you have a human body that makes smells. Regardless, I feel that all gas passing should be “excused” by whoever dealt it. Little niceties like that are the glue that keeps relationships from falling apart during the stuff that’s actually challenging.
Women have told me they want men who “don’t play games.” Others say they “love the chase.” What’s the appropriate balance ?
Women want to be desired. If that comes in a very straight-forward package, that’s great. But I’ll admit, making things less predictable can make them feel more illicit, which can be a major hot factor. Whether that means sending flirty texts or one of you obviously playing hard to get, it all reminds me of the seven–second test. (You know, that “stare into each other’s eyes for seven seconds and you’ll either fight or f*ck” thing?) Although I agree that we don’t want to “play games,” we do sometimes want to draw out the inevitable fireworks. Working harder for it can make finally lighting the fuse that much more rewarding.